Party Like It’s 1699

Party Like it’s 1699

“Your season draws nigh, as the north wind blows.”

                                         Chasing them down to take a picture seemed gauche and distasteful,
                                                so I went back to town and bought a quilt

           

          Above is an Amish buggy I was trying to take a discreet picture of. Its way off in the distance and I was starting to feel like paparazzi trying to get a good picture.  I wasn't after the photos after all, I was wondering what is in their hearts and what is in their head.
    I’m visiting the city of New Holland, Pennsylvania in an attempt to parachute into Amish Country to check them out for myself.  A parade route was filled with lawn chairs from townspeople who were reserving their spot for the harvest festival parade to begin that next Wednesday. Clever front yard mini-landscapes, and some very hip, thrift shop owners.

         I Noted some really good vibes outside of town too,   Amish children playing and riding bicycles and the locals were respectfully going around the horse and buggies of the Amish. 

    While wary of strangers, the Amish seem unaffected by technology, happy in their ways, purposeful in their tasks.  Quick too, their horses were really hoofing it and they didn't cause any traffic problems that I could see.
        I'm a little skeptical about the "technologically impaired" aspect of the Amish when I see rubber tires and such and I wonder what kind of Smithing was needed to make their bicycles. I know for a fact that the carriage wheels are handmade and many of the carriages are made locally, but I was wondering about the part in the weird al song "Amish Paradise" that goes... 
              'I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain

                      But that's just perfect for an Amish like me,

                     You know I shun fancy things like electricity."

       Now if I was the typical tourist I would cynically note that the best way to find the Amish was to follow the horse poop in the roads. However, their patriarchal system aside, I have some real respect for them now after having taken a closer look.

        Going to add a 2021 update here. In October I traversed many of the farm roads as I headed to that seed company in Lancaster. A seed store the Amish shop at. Most distinctly on this trip was noticing how beautiful their horses are. Whatever the horses are eating, its good for them. 

    When I came out, a precisely painted Buggy and an absolutely beautiful horse were parked next to me. Once again tempted to take a picture I drove over to the corner of the parking lot to prepare for the next leg of my trip.

          Around the time of the vengeful hysteria of 9-11, when Saudi hijackers created a war in Iraq,  America was out for blood. A flag-waving, Muslim hating minority vowed revenge. Around the same time, there was a mass shooting and five deaths at an Amish schoolhouse.  Shocking the country, they forgave the shooter.  I thought, wow America … the bloodthirsty tyrants of mass destruction, here’s how real christians act. What part of ‘turn the other cheek’ don’t you understand? 

How did the Amish lack the bloodthirsty, vengeful hysteria of George Bush's America?

      

Big rocks and small yards in New Holland Pa. 

         I walked a good deal around New Holland and there were no scuffles or people rushing or upset ...(except a bicycle riding Amish dude who was trying to make the green light. He gave the skank eye to a boneheaded tourist that got in his way as the light turned yellow).  "An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of" --- Weird Al

New Holland Pa.

         They talk with outsiders and they are not deaf, dumb and blind. A friendly merchant, a grain salesperson, a potato wholesaler, or the driver taking 500 pumpkins to Florida. The working people all talk with each other and the Amish know a good deal more than they are given credit for. Remember they don’t watch TV and conversations with people is where they learn the most about the outside. Different sects have various strictures and freedoms with the strictest of them living in less accessible hinterlands.

       I found it amusing that they hung their clothes to the electric pole by the street. All kinda laundry drying outside and fields full of

PumpkinsSquashandCorn.

       Do you kind of get that they are actually Anarchists and  Preppers and Survivalists?  They follow the rules that they have to, such as stop lights, but have cut off all ties with the US government. They think Satan is the tapeworm eating America and they plan to outlast Satan.  

      They are a country within a country, like the Basques in Spain or the Kurds in the middle east but not wanderers like the Tinkers or Gypsies. The Amish are a community that allow their young to decide their future by living among the outsiders during the wild oats phase. Would the common sense of their youth translate into a desirable future within the community? You may have watched the TV series about the Amish and found them cautious and thoughtful   when the rules are broken.

         During this period, they will be deciding on having an adulthood that is filled with non-stop chores during the daylight hours, or they may choose a life among the capitalist Americans and the vicissitudes of the market, subjecting themselves to the inherent cruelty of capitalism.  Not having a job to do is unheard of in their world.  Alone in the world like Moby with no real community, is what moving to the city entails.   

Note lawn chairs saving a space for the parade on the right

When this capitalism crap shits the bed, guess who won't even notice

       So I’m in one of the large thrift shops and I see a partial quilt that I really liked and I talked to the lady whose mom was an Amish. She showed me something her mother made and it was quite nice, and then we looked at a piece that caught my eye. 1903 1904 and women's names stitched in. The corner of a quilt where they quilters signed their names. Cut from a corner of an 8x8 foot quilt? Fascinating stitching and colors.

       With the ladies 100 years dead, I thought I had gotten myself a bit of an antique, but it was also time to listen.  She said the price is negotiable and I was going to say 25, but it was obviously worth more than that, so I said thirty and I had it. In the meanwhile, I love when people volunteer information I’m looking for, and I followed the banter between the co-owners and I learned a lot more than if I asked stupid questions.

       As I went to leave to go to Hershey Gardens , I stopped at a farmstand.  Finally an Amish in full regalia I could talk to. I didn’t know if they were brainwashed zombies like christians and islamos  so I didn’t know what to expect. I was out to get seed potatoes from the Amish which was big on my itinerary from the git-go. But there was nothing sprouted, they were all perfectly beautiful Kennebecs.  
       I bought a couple pounds of them and six weeks later only five had sprouted. “This is when we plant them in Florida," I had told her. It can get cold some fall and winters and that would slow the growth down some years, and we harvest in April, mostly from containers. Fresh Florida potaters February to April. Note to self.

         Luckily no customers came along for a bit and she told me about how they specialize. Different people have different talents and tools and she hinted on how their barter system works. Got into a seriously normal conversation for a good twenty minutes till somebody finally came in.

         My planning was extensive for my trip, even growing a mustache-less semi-beard despite having   no sideburns. Here I look like a stern Amish smiling his fool head.
        So whatever it was, this Amish maiden was so real and open and fun to talk to, I’m thinking, you know, these people are probably pretty cool in actuality.  Use your head and don’t mess with them.   

        Instead, bond with people about agriculture. Considering we eat three times a day, a thousand times a year, an important part of the revolution is food. What do I see in gas stations across America? Amish this and Amish that. As I left Amish country there were piles of squash at the end of peoples driveways. 50 cents a piece on that beautiful October afternoon.

      If you treat people who are different, like fish at the Atlanta Seaquarium, don’t expect any warmth or confidentiality. Talk about the guy that cuts the silage at the end of the growing season, or discuss tricks of the trade regarding tomatoes and potatoes, well that's another story. Not, "why do you hang your laundry in the front yard", like a city slicker libtard would?

      The energy hog we call the dryer, gives most people an automatically bigger carbon footprint than any of the Amish.  Do you think the Amish were worried about Hurricane Florence damaging gasoline refineries? We shouldn’t be either, and now ask yourself how many pipelines do you need to supply YOUR community with gasoline. 

don't step on the eggshells

       It’s not just smoke in the air, but the entire mining and processing of fossil fuels that has compromised our ecosystems. Thousands of pipelines crisscrossing the country (that will be abandoned when we switch to safer technologies) that created a silent slaughter of billions of animals who were unable to migrate, unable to find food. 

       Traditional wetlands for millions of years wiped out in several generations of short-sighted sycophants of capitalism. Carpetbagging trumps, looting someone else's resources.

      I see Despicables and Deplorables in line with a mountain of pork chops at the register, and this is somehow more civilized than an Amish root cellar?  That’s right, I didn’t see many fat Amish. I can also see the Amish understanding Bioregional Autonomous Zones far better than some city slicker libral could. They are about survival within their community.

      Now imagine this type of independence coupled with a less superstitious, strict religion. Hunter-gatherers, harvest gleaners, taking 50 cent Amish squash and selling it for a dollar in Florida. Wholesale Vermont Maple Syrup and making pints to sell, a whole new independent crop of survivalist hucksters will emerge and it will be a good thing.  

         People living in their cars, camping not homeless. Maybe make our own internet, and corporations and governments can be told to take a hike. Talk to the hand Fascism.  Banishment(boycott)  all POS corporations as the Amish banish those that they want to remove from their life.

      Horse and buggy isn’t the answer to your beguiling question, but real, actual energy independence is what we’ll be doing in our spiraling autonomous communities when gasoline gets to about $4.50 a gallon, then all the alternatives will come on line. Production of slower vehicles and an infrastructure project for safer traveling will boost the economy. The frantic fracking of the last ten years was to keep the Petroleum  Plot rolling and gas sales booming. 

         It was the Obama administration that looked the other way when shale oil extraction (fracking) became the norm. Suddenly we were only buying 15% of our oil from the Middle East. Gas prices flattened below three dollars a gallon but unknown toxins were being injected into the bedrock below the soil.

      The people of New Holland and the nearby Amish community seem to do parallel play pretty well.  Amish carriages never seemed to hold up traffic and they also seemed intent to get things done that Saturday. Trucks with bales of hay going thru Main St and harvests with their gales of surplus.  

         The Amish will survive Armageddon, will you? 

The Amish knew this a long time ago. They will survive. They won't even notice an economic collapse and it seems only cockroaches are tougher than the Amish.