ELDER FUTHARK I PRESUME

Elder Futhark, I Presume  

{The Heathen and the Christian /// Vikings and Saints … not just football} 
                This is a story about a Heathen and a Christian. The Patriarchal religions, Christianity and Islam, are not about God; but politics, and suspiciously both of these religions originate from the same region of the world.  Their plan seems to be to split the world in two and have a perpetual war that will last forever and ever, amen.  As Huey P. Newton said “War is politics with bloodshed." Religion is politics.
      

Whereas a shield can deflect a spear or sword and a Kevlar vest can protect vital organs from a gunshot, it is difficult to unburden a mind that has been riddled with spirit crushing deceptions forced on them since their youth.  
A question came up on a forum, Yahoo Answers, wondering where can a person go for help when recovering from these misogynist and nature hating religions?

 I was trying to think of how a person can firm up their resolve and restore their pride in themselves as I was thinking of a response, and I wanted to suggest sighchiatry, but then realized that it has been humor that has gotten many people through the nonsense in life and therapists just aren’t that funny.

When George Carlin talks about religion he used to say this about God,"....He'll send you to burn and scream and cry and choke for all of eternity........but he loves you" Here’s the solution, I said, tell your friend, to try and imagine what heaven is actually like.
Two people died and ended up in the same afterlife space. One as a follower of the Norse or Northern Tradition who has died and he wakes up as if from a dream and begins walking on a marshmallow cloud till he sees a green pasture coming into view and a bedraggled man with a cross around his neck. 
 Last thing he remembered, he was coming home with some chips and…Then he realized he was able to fly and was about to take flight but Christian says "Hey, where's Jesus? We're dead..... right? Where‘s Jesus?"

           "Let's go find 'im dude. No appointment calendar here," the Heathen said just a bit puzzled at this behavior.  Hope this dude doesn’t harsh my afterlife mellow he thought to himself.

              A flock of birds go by and the Heathen and the Christian join them, easily lifting into the air. "Hey , where's Jesus?" the Christian kept repeating to the flock. "This is the way of the birds" one of the birds finally says and then, "Fly with us."

 "Where's St Peter, and the angels?" The birds fly away and the Heathen realizes this Christian is somehow getting stressed out in heaven and may need some help. Together they walk down a quiet country road after landing and come on some gypsy wagons. "Hey, where's Jesus!!" A dancer spins over to him without stopping her dance and placed a silly hat on his head. "Cerridwen is here with us today--be at peace and embrace the spirit of the goddess."

        The Christian was still restless but seemed to have bonded with the heathen, so they leave and walked down the road and then the slowly winding path began to climb upward. Suddenly they look to their left and a glowing presence in a grove beckoned them. She has a bow and arrow and the Christian instinctively goes for his gun (when you die you appear to have the same clothing) but the heathen suddenly realizes that it is Diana of myth. "Diana?" How can this be, he asks himself and remembers the rejection he felt when his coven became 'Dianic' and he was told to find another coven. "Aren't you a womens only goddess?" the Heathen asks as the Christian seems more puzzled than ever.

         "We are balancing the male and female in the material world as it has always been in the spiritual world. Go, find the answer." Stated Diana.

So one of the heathens life traumas has been resolved but now what is next? If there is such a balance of male and female.... then where are the Gods? Why are we only seeing Goddesses?

A dude on a mountain bike clambers by and suddenly the Christians eyes light up. "It's Jesus, it's Jesus! holy moly bagoly it's my personal savior!!!" There wasn't enough exclamation points to express his delight. 

The Heathen gamely tried to keep up after conjuring up a bicycle and the three of them come upon a campfire where a bunch of men were drinking mead and yelling OOGA! Go Vikings! OOGA OOGA OOGA. SKOL SKOL SKOL.Then the Heathen remembers he was riding home to watch the Packers and Vikings Monday Night Football game and ....then the car hit him and....

"Jesus...is that you? Who are all these idiots?"

Jesus says, "Excuse me. Rude much? Yes, I am Jesus and what did I say about loving your neighbor?"
The Christian looked down contritely, "...oh ..sorry."

"Let me introduce you to Odin ...and Thor is over there passing out hot wings and there is Svarog tapping another keg. There's Buddha and Perun and Joseph my father (waving, so proud of that boy), and there's Pope Paul the second with the Saints cap on."  Walking further into the outdoor sports bar we meet Giles Corey and Jacques DeMolay and all the rest of the gods and by now the Christian has forgotten the myth about St. Peter and the pearly gates and how pagans and atheists were all going to hell. Finally the Christian turns to the heathen and says-"I was lied to."                         
 "Ya think?"

EVERYONE ELSE WAS INDEPENDENT AND PAGAN

        "Get these fellas a drink....Arrrr!!!" Jesus puts his arms around the Heathen and the Christian both, pretending he was going to knock their heads together. 

                                                     Suddenly a giant noise erupts, "Turn it up" said one of the gods. "The Vikings have scored first in this game and the kick is up and it's...gooooood. Vikings lead 7 nothing." A thunderous roar and a head-ringing clap of thunder interrupted the scene. 

It was late January 2020 and the Vikings beat those fucking Packers on Monday Night Football and it seemed that the Fates were setting up for the Vikings to get their first Super Bowl victory. The gods were on their side at least. 
"Couldn't Lamar Jackson have an 'accident'" the Heathen asked Jesus. Ravens are hot and favored to win the Super Bowl.
"Can't do that shit from here.' he said dismissively even though the Heathen was a Vikings fan and it was the only question he asked. 

Jesus turns to the Christian who couldn't stop asking questions, "Now be respectful will ya...and watch the game. You got the rest of eternity for questions. This is one of the greatest pleasures in the universe. NFL playoff on earth! Hot Cheese Golden Mead and Nachos!” then he turned to the christian and said, 
                           

“Trust me I will banish you to a bowling alley in Cleveland if you can’t keep quiet.”

   By halftime, things were going well for the Vikings and Odin got up to tell a story. The screen went blank during the lame-o halftime show.   
 "This is the true story of Crowbone...." 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1OJS8U30Yxk&list=PLEFF27C06AF78150A&index=9

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=reOLeLX0Q9U&list=PLEFF27C06AF78150A&index=10                       
          Did Viking women and children talk about the violence the men were perpetuating? Did they ask why their Viking husbands and fathers drove gigantic nails into peoples heads or pulled out victims lungs to watch them flap as the person died? The extreme violence was a shameful face to the regular Joe type of Viking that wasn’t pillaging and burning. We never hear about the more sensitive paganism of the Norsemen or their rugged self sufficiency.

        Women were highly regarded in Viking society  and unlike christian strictness, viking society had more fun and people dealt with each other as people not co-religionists.                            Perhaps the villagers had no idea of the scope of violence. Maybe only a small segment of Viking society were homicidal maniacs. Maybe there was nothing the folks in the village could do to stop the enthusiastic approach to gore.  Or maybe the moral high ground hypocrites took advantage of the Vikings who had the runes but not a written language. Bearing false witness (9th commandment) on all those that were conquered by Christian armies. These people and many others weren't savages but regular folks who were mischaracterized.  

                       
Some Christians believed the Vikings were an advance guard of what God was sending to begin the apocalypse.    



The Christian and the Heathen walked away after the playoff game was done and eventually came across an ocean shoreline. 
The Heathen saw the mermaid first and they found no trouble following her when she beckoned. On the ocean floor they saw Neptune and Jurate the ocean goddess. There appeared to be a panel or council of sorts that were asking Jurate and Neptune some questions. Apparently, it was a training session for spirit guides. "Where's the angels?" asked the Christian.

"That's them," he said as they looked at a wide variety of people and animals. Jurate was trying to take Neptune to task and was imploring him to slow down volcanic outbursts in the Pacific and to try and calm down the Caribbean tectonic plate.
        "Humans need to be away from the shore. The estuaries and bays and inlets are for migrating birds and pollinating insects. Besides I can't help, only the Mother can direct the plates." replied Neptune.

"Let's warn them about the Tsunamis” pleaded Jurate.  The next great 9.0 quake will be further east, closer to the Puerto Rico Trench, the deepest subduction zone in the Atlantic. In a few short weeks Tsunamis would wash over Bermuda and the Bahamas and then Florida. A normal geological event that would have gone unnoticed 100,000 years ago however.....https://www.zerohedge.com/health/strange-things-are-happening-waters-along-west-coast-and-fish-are-starting-disappear?utm_campaign&utm_content=ZeroHedge%3A+The+Durden+Dispatch&utm_medium=email&utm_source=zh_newsletter&fbclid=IwAR3nJ8c6FLlDa-N9dr3yq-4_Sx-KMCAgs1yOoR1vXOcrudLAZMh_aFv6QZM

"We can't baby them, there are lessons they need to learn," insisted Poseiden, one of the three male ocean gods. 
Jurate is a gentle goddess and THE female ocean Goddess, and she is in anguish when her oceans create havoc. Neptune has also threatened to magmatize the Seamount Volcano off the coast of Oregon. Undiscovered till five years ago it is the biggest volcano on earth.
If that blows, there won't be any air travel for six months not to mention a drastic drop in food production. Probably won't pass council, luckily for us.
The Heathen wanted to ask Jurate about the legend of the Fisherman and the Amber Castle, but she seemed pretty busy.

"What about global warming," asked someone on the panel.
       "Global warming is happening in an unpreceded manner due to the petroleum suicide of the humans, but the real problem is the pollution caused by a billion cars and the factories of Industrial Capitalism," stated Neptune. "All our floating friends have plastic in their gut and I'm getting pissed."

"Filth from boats too," added Jurate, I feel so unwell at times and it's rapidly getting worse," she added. "My reefs are dying at a mass extinction rate...." This was all too interesting but the duo got the itch to move on.

They swam on and came upon a sign in front of a giant underwater stadium. Inside Jimi Hendrix was the Ringmaster for the "Neptune Games" and they watched.

        Now what do they do, they wondered to themselves? Another mermaid was leading a large crowd of spirits and they followed her. She swam along the bottom and they followed her and saw an incredible variety of the oceans living creatures. Soon they came upon a large outlet for a river, the Amazone. Vegetarian crocodiles and toothless Piranhas floated by, the they came across   the Queen of the mermaids herself, Yemaya.

        They talked about the variety of starfish. "I never heard of the Brittlestar."

        What do you think of evolution now Christian?" Yemaya had showed them how the evolution in the oceans happened. The Brittlestars are our ancient ancestors.
        The Christian was surprised to learn another starfish, the Feather Star was also one of the ancient creatures that helped the evolution of sea life. "Well, I'll say one thing about the afterlife.....I'm glad the atheists were wrong." The voodoo mermaid Yemaya waved over to them and said, "Come on back when you can."

They had flown out of the water and recognized features of America--the land of their birth. Flying west it had become dark again and the Christian said, "Heaven sure isn't what I thought it would be."

"I don't think we've seen it’s entirety my friend. I guess you got here by default because this is kind of what I wished for with Odin and Thor and I knew a little about Jurate and Perkunas of the Romuva tradition. That wasn't exactly Valhalla back there with Odin. I would love to ask someone about Freya. She was my favorite." Suddenly they were over Hopi land in a small niche of soil against a southern facing cliff. At the bottom ,a Hopi elder was planting corn.

 He held his old planting stick he has been using for nearly 50 years and began poking holes in the ground and throwing corn kernels. The Christian and the Heathen felt a looming presence behind them and when they looked, a Goddess appeared to them.
         “The Corn Mother?” Knowing some native American folklore, this was a good guess.

“I am Freya, goddess of all that lives in the earth.”

The Christian chuckled to himself and said, “the bugs and worms and…”

“….and all the roots of every plant.” The sun came out and she hastened them to leave as the Christian contemplated what she said. “Heat and cold, sun or moon, there are no limits for you now, journey onwards.” She left them and became a mist that settled on Larry Two Hawks field while Larry stood there and was silently thankful.

“Where do you want to go now Christian?”

“Hawaii, American Samoa and Australia.”

“And you?”

“Mt. Everest and the North Pole, Hail Boreas.”

They flew over more time zones till the waxing moon came into view and by merely wishing they were at the moon in seconds. Then they heard, “I am the voice of the Ancient Mother. The one eye open as she sleeps.  My sister Zorya greets the dawn and Our Father the sun brings life and I am Zvoruna, goddess of the Moon.”

        They asked her how many goddesses were there altogether and she explained, “I am not a goddess but an aspect of the Ancient Mother. There are 9 goddesses and 23 gods.” She had a large retinue in tow and so they diverged and continued their afterlife vacation. 

After Everest they went to the North Pole and encountered Sedena, protector of the Inuits. The Goddess of the cold north, she showed them an artic mirage.

“What’s that?”

“That is Greenland off in the distance. This is how the Vikings discovered Greenland. They saw the land reflected in the sky and sailed for the land that appeared on the horizon.”

Sedena said, “well Mr. Christian, guess who was the first European to discover America?”

“I guess it was the Vikings,” he said begrudgingly.

“No it wasn’t. The history books never recorded that an Irish monk born in 905 A.D. was the first European in North America In 936 he spent 45 days looking for Iceland but found Newfoundland instead. There are no written tales of him but he was there.”

“A monk?”

“Yes monks were early explorers of my land looking for heathens to convert. His ship was battered and he never sailed again after marrying a ‘skraeling’ and eventually becoming a heathen himself calling himself Treegeld.”

“So a Christian discovered America?” The Christian still held out a little hope for his long held beliefs.

“The Indians discovered America of course and the Great Spirit was strong then, but yes, a Christian was the first European to discover America.”

Other recently dead clamored for Sedenas attention and the crowd wandered away.

In an instant they were transported to an unrecognizable place. A sunny day and what appeared to be coliseum seats in a giant park filled with fascinating brickwork they marveled at.

        “The Protestant Deformation,” said a Goddess derisively. The Christian slowly turned and there appeared to be Mary, the mother of Jesus. The golden threads of her gown glowed as she addressed them.

“Baptist, what IS IT with you people? Catholics are not Christians I see here on your blog.”

“Well….”

      “It’s okay, things are changing soon. I can’t reveal the details but Baptists and Catholics will soon have some common ground to agree on.

        There’s just us, “she admitted waving her arm to the horizons. “My son Jesus, such a good boy, and Thor and Freya and the elementals and angels and all the rest. There are no demons. Period, End of story. Have you seen Jesus yet?” she asked the christian who was not feeling very christian any longer.

“Uh, ….he was busy watching a game,”  he sheepishly acknowledged while realizing his personal savior would rather watch a game then greet him into heaven.

       “Where is your fan club Mary? Aren’t you the most popular goddess?”

        “Well, keep in mind I don’t need breaks or sleep and after people talk with me they generally are ready to move on. People don't stay here very long once they realize life on Earth was a joke and there is so much more ahead.

      In regards to your question,  Usually there is a crowd, but for now it’s just us. To truly live is to live forever and you only need to wish it as you gentlemen did. Like here, wish for anything you want. You can never go back and change anything, but do what you like here.”

       “Can I have a bag of runes then?” asked the Heathen.

        A bag appeared in his hand. “Elder Futhark I presume.” said Mary with a wink.

The Christian was wondering about his wife and how she was dealing with his death and then remembered about his mom and dad. “Mary…can we see our relations that have passed on?”

“Yes, eventually, if they are still here or the level above.”

“How about our pets, I swear my dogs were better humans than many of the touchholes I met,” added the Heathen.

“In some form they may be. You will find them if they are here. Love is all you need to bring you back together.”

“Is Jesus coming back to Earth soon?” the Christian wondered.

“Yeah, is it the end of the world?”

“Even up here we don’t quite know what will happen. Everything in the past can be viewed but the future is not for anyone to know. Shamans on earth have been summoning the Mother and she will awaken soon. We know she will not be happy and there will be earthquakes, solar flares and volcanic activity that people have not seen in a long time. There will be chaos but the humans will survive.

      “Jesus will be working behind the scenes and a chosen few will see him. Now shoosh” she said looking at a nearby sun dial, “It’s time for an earthly visit."
        Being dead didn’t seem to matter anymore and the stress of life had completely evaporated but they were somehow tired. “I need a rest compadre.”

“I’m telling ya,” agreed the Christian plopping down on a mossy bench.

“This could be where we part company. I have a lot of history I would like to see and our souls need to…. Recharge or something. I don‘t know, what is next?”

          “I don’t know either. Do what you like, I’ll wander off when I’m ready. I wonder if they have facebark here. How are we going to keep in touch?”
      "Let's find a way, friend"

“I’m going to invoke a goddess, I wonder who we haven’t seen yet?" He began,   'Venus Diana Hecate,” repeating this  ceremonially like he used to do when he was living, “aid me in my magical quest.” Then, they both heard a voice.

        “You need to journey back to yourselves.” The Heathen was gratified to see that a lot of what he believed in was sorta true with his encounters with Thor and Freya but now...appearing in front of him was a truly impressive goddess. Sunlight moved around her and the winds were visibly swirling everywhere they looked. She lreminded them of Glinda the Good Witch, and the Heathen asked, “Who are you then?”

“I am Dexsiua of the warm life giving southern wind. I travel everywhere and am part of everything. She waved a wand and people started gathering around.

         “We are definitely not in Kansas anymore,” said the Christian and they both laughed.
        She addressed the growing crowd, “We will break into groups of 13. I will sift through your minds and answer as many questions as I can. Just relax,” she intoned, “…as we fly.”

This was the big history ride and they saw dinosaurs and beatniks and Socrates and the actual ministry of Jesus the half human.  There was Druids and the signing of the Magna Charta and even the secret of the pyramid builders was finally revealed.

 It was many days and they rested and experienced these great moments. They saw snapshots of their own lives and other peoples days on earth, learning very much in a short time.

            When they were done flocks of birds would occasionally fly by. “They fly beyond the solar system and the Milky Way. The Universe waits for you and your source also waits. Join them now and find Nu-Kua. Go the way of the birds.  

 The Goddess is a concept by which we measure our JOY.
The Goddess is a concept by which we measure our JOY.